Red the scale

I must tell you about Red.  Red is my weight scale, we have a love-hate relationship; I hate red when the red spinner goes up on weight, and Red hates me for stepping on him.  He stares at me each morning and I can hear him “dear God, please don’t let her step on me…..AHHHHHH GET OFFFFFF ME!!!!”  Red is a jerk, shouldn’t our weight scales be loving towards us?  It’s like a lie detector test.  You know that bag of cookies you ate last night and you thought no one ever has to know…And then Red shows up and all he says is, “I don’t make this stuff up, you shouldn’t have ate those cookies, and just to teach you a lesson…I’m going to put 3 pounds on you! Mwhahahaha”  Stupid Red.  But then, there are those days when I know I’ve been AH-MAZING, I step on Red and I’m like “yeaaa, in your face Red”  those are the days that red spinner takes weight off of me!  Thankfully, those days happen more and more often lately. 
So with all the weight I’ve been losing, and goals I’ve set for myself, I’ve recently discovered BMI charts. Can I just say GROSS!  Who are those things made for? I mean really!  My goal is to reach 150!  Do you know that for a 5ft woman, 150 lbs is still considered overweight?  I think that is insane!  First off on average how many women my height really weigh between 97 and 123 lbs?  Really?  It pisses me off that when I finally reach my goal weight, I’m still going to be considered unhealthy, are you kidding me!  This is my solution to the BMI charts, ignore them, they lie, unlike Red, Red doesn’t lie to me.
So you ask what exactly are you doing to please Red?  Let me tell you!  I have discovered Kayaking!  Simply put, kayaking is best thing ever!!!  Some friends of my husband and I invited us to go on a kayaking/camping trip.  I was scared.  First I thought, I’ll sink the damn kayak, Second, I can’t swim, Third, what will everyone think of the fat girl…wait a minute!  I don’t care what they think!  So I really only had two problems.  The swimming issue was easily solved by wearing a life jacket.  The other took a little more time.  I found kayaks can hold quite a bit of weight, you can even get special ones that carry a lot of extra weight.  Now when I first started this kayaking thing, I never would have thought it would help me lose so much weight, I mean you’re just sitting there right? WRONG! In a 2 day trip I lost 6 lbs.  If that isn’t a testament, I don’t know what is.  Let’s just say Monday morning, Red was able to breathe a little bit easier!!

So I’m going to sign off raising my glass (don’t worry its only water) to Red breathing easier!